Unknown

The bell rings and they all line up with to get their card scanned. It is computerized permission for the lines of “I-told-you-so-s” to come seeping out of their mouths. Some scan the card with the intention of using it, others scan it just because they can and have the thought in their minds, but their mouths still sealed shut.

The accusers line up to dish out what they had held up for four and a half months.  Lines of insults are hurled at the accused, beliefs that it was all for nothing, that it was a complete waste of time. It is known that no matter what details are told, none of them would change their minds, so the accused stays silent. What they don’t know is the behind the scenes, they weren’t there to experience any of it, so how would they know? They don’t, but the accused holds it in, the tears, the comebacks, there is no point in fighting it anymore, they will believe what they want.

Inside the courtroom the actual judge is in there with the gavel and a supposed unbiased opinion of the situation. Although from the scowl on Its face, the decision seemed clear. Details of the case had been whispered and an opinion was already set in Its mind. The only hope was the jury. One glance at them and it was obvious they are eager to accuse, to jump to conclusions, it is too late. “It was the most magical thing, to have experienced it!” The accused wants to tell the judge, but afraid that that jury has already made up their minds there is little fight. To everyone all it will be is a mistake, pointless and unfished.

The lawyer tries to defend the accused, but the facts are hurled back faster than lightening, facts of him that he cheated, pushed, begged, and only had one thing in mind. “No, but!” The accuser screams to the judge in defense.

“Exactly, there are no buts! No excuses for that kind of behavior! He does not deserve you! You lowered your standards so that you could make the biggest mistake of your life! I think we are done here, I find the accused guilty.”

Beaten down and bruised, nobody knows the story. Nobody knows how wonderful it felt to feel that momentary happiness, to be completely caught up in the moment, and to fall in love with the best friend.  

“He was trash compared to you, why would you even consider him!?”

Judgments are thrown at the accused from both sides. Nobody can see it, how important he is. How precious his life is, how he doesn’t think he is good enough, but he is. They all say that he doesn’t deserve the accused “she’s too good for him,” is their response. “But doesn’t he deserve someone who is that good!?” The accused wants to scream back, but her only defense guides her through the crowds of people with their plastic cards licensed to judge.

Forever the accused will be punished for something everyone calls a mistake, waiting for the next bell to ring. Another good girl who fell just a little bit because she saw something in someone that nobody ever saw. They will all pull out their imaginary plastic cards and scan them into a computer that only they can see. This computer of theirs seems to give them the right to judge, to insult, and to assume. The accused will always have that little piece of her heart that was broken, and it will never be mended. Instead of hearing “oh it was a great relationship, but there is something else out there that is better,” the accused gets the cards, the judges, the juries with little defense. Nobody to listen, or hear the magic. Nobody that will close their eyes and try to remember with her.

“It was beautiful,” every girl accused will mutter in her sleep, and although she will be forever punished for the best thing that ever happened to her, she will never regret it. A huge smile will be spread across her face as she remembers the best four and a half months of her life up until that moment. An impossible, intense, and unforgettable relationship that nobody will understand, comprehend or remember with her is what the accused will forever remember, and forever dream about.

Three weeks later the next bell rings and another set of stranger’s line up to give out their good dose of “I-told-you-so-s” this time the accused has tears streaming down her face. She has not slept in days, she looks about ten pounds lighter because her cloths are hanging off of her. She has the same look in her eyes that the last one did just a week ago, our eyes meet and I turn away. I remember, the feeling, the memories, and I understand.  About three short weeks ago I was her, I remembered all of it too well. I would close my eyes and see our first slow dance in the kitchen, I would see our first kiss by the pond, and I would see the lights at the zoo, the tickling, the nephew and that moment of realization.

 I used to be one of those with the imaginary plastic card and the computer that only I could see, I would judge, tell them not to fall into the arms of someone like that.  I would say that they were too good for him, that it was all for nothing.

Then I experienced it.

That incredible l love affair that will forever haunt me along with the words I never told him. I stand on the sidelines and pray for her as she enters the room with the judge who has already made up Its mind, and the judgmental glares of the jury. Her punishment will be the same as mine was three weeks ago, forever condemned for her “mistake” but I am one of few that will understand her.

Soon it will be week after week that we will stand on the side lines together and watch another accused girl with the judgmental crowd surrounding her. Just as she goes in to hear the same thing she had been told the whole time, she will try to defend herself but it will be useless. They think they know it all, but they don’t in matter of a fact, they know nothing at all.