Snowball

They snuck out at two a.m. and met up in Karl’s dirt covered; scratched, and rusted old pick up truck. Opal brought out the blankets, and Karl provided the pillows. They spent the night looking at sky, in the middle of the country with no city lights to hide the stars. Opal lay in Karl’s arms all night. In the morning Karl awoke to the sound of a bullet clicking into place, and Opal’s father pointing the gun in his face. There is a rumor throughout the family that Craig was conceived that night, but they got married after their night together.

I guess we will never know.

After that Vicki was born, followed by Andy and soon after Eric. I’m going to throw a lot of names out, but only few matter in the end of this story. The four kids would steal strawberries from their neighbor. Opal and Karl tried, but we have all heard tales of the times that they had failed. The kids got spanked a few times, and Craig got married to Sandy. Vicki struggled with her body image, ate little, and vomited much, but Scott came along. She ran away with Scott, married him and followed him to England where he was deployed. That is when Adam was born. When they moved back to the states, Aaron was born, and then Rachel.

Andy met Pam, and somewhere between training for war, meeting her, and moving to Colorado they had Lucas at the bottom of the Rocky Mountains. What a view! Eric, the youngest, met Laurel.

You were born.

Vicki and Scott had Andrew, their final and youngest child.

Eric was working the late shift as a manager of a Burger King, Laurel was picking up her check right before a date with some guy named Daniel who would one day crush her. Eric looked at his co-worker and asked who that was, clearly interested.

“That’s Laurel, but she’s way out of your league dude.”

“I’m going to marry her one day.”

And that he did. He always talks about how he knew the moment he saw her.

Just… Knowing, it must run in the family.

Craig and Sandy had Bryce, their only child, and then Stephanie was born to Pam and Andy.

A snowstorm came as they rushed Laurel to the hospital. It was impossible to see the road, but they made it safely. I was born that night, and my Mom spent her birthday in the hospital.

Eric and Laurel moved to Missouri where Eric went to Central Bible College, and Laurel worked for The Assemblies of God headquarters. There they had two more children when I was four, and five. Bethany and Jonah.

I ended up moving in with Pam and Andy to escape family services while my parents packed up the apartment in Missouri and started to make the move to Ohio. We found a home church, Dayspring Assembly of God. I was five.

I met my best friends then. I hated them, was jealous of them and thought they were spoiled and stuck up. It took me five years to become best friends with them. That was the best decision my mom ever forced me to make. Introducing Chloe and Sophia and soon after, Ellie.

Opal passed away. After 59 years of age and 43 years of marriage.

Pam and Andy foster some children. Their first child they adopt, her name is Alissa. Everyone loves her.

You were the youngest of three children. Two older brothers who wrestled with you because they thought you could be tougher, and a sister whom you bonded very well with. You made a four year mistake, ran from God, became suicidal and God met you where you were. You were good.

You made a two year mistake again, ran from God again, became suicidal again, but God met you, found you, placed joy in your life, showed you what he wanted for you.

Somewhere in there we met once or twice. Maybe you stood in front of me in Wal-Mart, or I ran into you at the fair. Maybe you came to the production of Scrooge when I was young Belle. I shook your hand, and smiled. We carried on a conversation and walked away, not knowing.

I met my mistake, Tyler; he took my first kiss at seventeen. I ran from God, convinced that I wasn’t running. He hurt me and I became uncontrollably bulimic. Not my decision, my body could not handle the emotional pain. So it vomited at the smell of food. I ran back to God. I came down the stairs at three a.m. to my Mom, Laurel, pacing. “What are you doing up?” She asked, “Tyler…” I sobbed. “He hurt you that badly?” I nodded and sat on the stairs and cried myself to sleep. Tyler one day, supposedly loved me again, and I ran away from God again. I would have done anything to not feel pain and anything to eat again.

He was there, and he wasn’t. He made promises and broke them; I made promises and kept them. We went on movie dates, to make up for something stupid he did. We went on movie dates because the one day he was off, he abandoned me at his sisters wedding so that he could sleep. I danced with Angela and Evelyn instead.

The first romance we had was over; there was nothing cute about it anymore. I went to college, and he helped me move. He tried to break up with me, but I wouldn’t let him. Christmas came, then my birthday, and then the Ohio State meet, and it was over.

I noticed you in the back of the class, then on the other side of the sanctuary, in the foyer and the Family Life Center before youth. You didn’t know me, but I paid attention to you, because you stood out. You’re the reason I came home. You’re the reason I reset my standards I wanted someone like you. God had other plans though. Not someone like you. You. Just you, and nobody else before or after you.

God worked, we met, we became friends. Anthony confirmed what God told me. I caught the bouquets at request of confirmation. Final request of confirmation, I wanted to hear it from you. You prayed for me, left me in tears on the last day of Life Groups. “If God is telling you something, say it, listen to it.”

Bingo.

So I wait. Katie was not as patient, but that didn’t change anything.

You help me, pray for me and encourage me, you give me advice, you take me to retreat. I start to doubt, I tell other girls the story. I accept my position as a future pastors wife, and the woman praying for me stops.

“You know who you’re going to marry?” I nod, “but you’re not together yet?” I shake my head, she must think I am nuts.

Four things, It’s a time of waiting, a time of transition, he has to make the first move, and this happened to her. I tell friends what just happened. Sitting in the corner of the hallway. You walk over and see how we are doing. We stop talking about you long enough to answer your question. For the first time I look at you with complete confidence. You are my husband.

I stopped talking to you; I swear it wasn’t my choice. Silence followed by silence and more silence.

I text you happy birthday, and you text me happy birthday as well, turns out, it’s the same day. Two years apart.

I come home the following weekend, spending it with Sophia. Her family throws a party for us, she is twenty-one and I am now twenty. The snow keeps coming after six hours, and it is time to go.

Ellie, Michael and I start scraping off cars and I hear Michael, “don’t you dare fling that snow onto me.” I look over and he is covered in the white snow down the front of his coat.

“It’s not good packing snow,” she said as he bent down to the ground, forming a snowball.

“Actually,” Michael says standing up, “it’s great packing snow,” he says throwing the ball and the white powder shatters on her cheek, making it red, and the snow sticking to her long brown hair.

She immediately bends down, and gathers snow. “Wait, this isn’t happening, I don’t have any gloves…” Michael says running from Ellie.

Ellie’s snowball hits him in the back, as I sent one straight into her arm. She gives a startled sound, and prepares to fire back as I start running and get hit in the leg by Michael’s ammunition. I bend down, my knees in the snow, “wait, let’s get Sophia when she walks out,” Michael suggests with our white stuck together snowballs ready to be fired at him.

We line up on the side of the garage, and the door slams, we wind our arms back and see Mrs. Schmitz. “Hold your fire!” Michael commands, “It’s Mrs. Schmitz,” as she turns the corner, she sees the three of us with snow balls ready to be thrown.

“Don’t you dare…” she says as Ellie pelts the first snow ball at Mrs. Schmitz’s chest. Lydia walks out, and joins the fight as I run and start throwing rounds at anyone in my path or whose back is turned. That’s when Bekah nails me in the back of the head. I grab some snow off her father’s car, pack it together in my hands, my gloves getting wet and cold, but I don’t care. She runs, like a rabbit from a lion, and my snowball hits her on the side of the face. Leaving a chuck of snow on her eyelashes.

Sophia finally arrives with cloths in her hands, we let her front pass, but send a couple at her back.

Pause the scene for a second.

The snow makes the driveway look like the inside of a snow globe, when the confetti has settled and it is slowly falling back to the bottom of the water. It is suspended, I look at Sophia, who’s mouth is dropped as she is scolding Michael, Bekah is laughing with snow still stuck to her eye lash. Ellie has Caleb and Andrew cornered in the garage.

Mrs. Schmitz is in the middle of saying, “get Caleb, he’s not used to snow!” He’s from St. Lucia. Michael is giving an unapologetic smile; Lydia is getting ready to throw a snowball at the back of Mrs. Schmitz’s head. In this moment, I am not thinking about you or the fact that somehow it is supposed to work out and I will marry you. I am not worried that we have not talked in months, besides saying happy birthday. I am not thinking about how much this hurts, sitting back and waiting for you. You are the furthest thing from my mind, it is relaxing and refreshing, I am only focused on the snow as it continues to fall in sugary chunks. I am focused on how white it is outside. I am not focused on whether or not I am cold. I am not sure. I am not thinking about the fact that God told me last summer to go to Mexico, now he is telling me to go to Madagascar. You are not on my mind; I am not worried about my family or my roommate’s drama. I am seeing the snow; I am pausing time, I taking it breath by breath. Capturing every moment. Can this be made into a movie so I can watch myself be happy forever?

Play.

I hear laughter as Ellie throws her snowball at Caleb who runs from the garage and grabs some snow to throw back at her. Andrew stays out of the fight; Sophia finishes scolding Michael, Mrs. Schmitz roots for Ellie who has started another ball to throw at Caleb before he can even get one together. Bekah starts forming a snowball, but I am not sure whom it is for. Lydia’s ball hits Mrs. Schmitz in the arm. “Okay, we have to go before the roads get worse!” Sophia announces and we all throw our last snowball. I look at the wide and stretched smiles on everyone’s faces, I hear their laughs, and see the white snow lingering in their hair, on their coats, on their cheeks and soaking their shoes.

We gather in the car as Mrs. Schmitz gives us all hugs, and she asks me how I am doing. A lot better. I ask her for prayer about Madagascar. She offers me a leadership role in Chicago this summer. I give Bekah a hug; she’s like a little sister to me. As my arms wrap around her, I feel her hand travel to my head and it becomes cold and wet as she rubs the snow all over my head.

Thanks Bek, she smiles. “Come back with stories about your husband.”

“Oh, I will.” I smile and run to the car. We make it back to Sophia’s apartment safely and the following morning I have to go back to school.

You and I still don’t talk. I change my trip from Mexico to Madagascar.

I compete at the Ohio State meet and become the designated driver for that party. Unfortunately. It’s funny when they are drunk at the party, but not when you need directions back to the hotel.

Miami University is the following weekend. I meet up with Stephanie for coffee, who is now in college there. Chloe, who is at Cedarville, and a worship major comes to visit me at the meet. The equipment still sucks.

            But I got to see two of my best friends.

            Katie and I board our plane to Venice. We see the Eifel tower on our plane switch. We spend days in Venice, then meet up with the school in Rome and Florence. I come back a day early to see Lucas get married to another girl named Katie. They are perfect together.

            That was the best wedding I have been to. I catch the bouquet again. Figures. We host our home meet, and I wish you would come up, but you don’t. My grips peal, and I fly off the bar in the middle of my routine. My leg is red, and immediately starts to bruise. I still don’t like my new grips.

            Nationals comes, we find a stray cat to keep in the hotel for the week. Mason wakes up not knowing where he was or what happened. Truth is I planted one on him. We had planned it since the Christmas party. I run into Kenji who I end up dancing with most of the night. I fall asleep on the chairs outside the ballroom and he carries me to my room. I wake up during this, but don’t want to walk so I pretend to be asleep. Sets me on the bed, tucks me in and gives me a kiss goodnight. That was the last time I ever saw him.

            You and I finally collide again, and I get the courage to ask you for coffee. Just friends, no romantic interest. You say yes.

            I finally tell you the whole story, tell you about my family and my life. Tell you how I noticed you. I don’t tell you what God told me, but I tell you everything I can. You are amazed.

            We talk more at church, when we hang out we sit together, you sit next to me in service now.

            You ask for my help preparing for service on Tuesday nights, I say yes.

            The day before Madagascar, you help load up the cars, and ask me on a date. We go out together with just hour’s left of my summer. When I come back from Madagascar, I will go straight to school. We talk, and I am tempted to tell you that you’re my husband. We lay under the stars, like Grandma and Grandpa did that night in their truck. You kiss me for the first time by the pond, with the cicadas chirping in the background.

            Madagascar changes my life, I pray for people out loud, I step up as a leader, and God shows me many things to come in my life. Junior year comes, and I go to more meets. Mason is gone, and Katie leaves half way through the year. I accept the role as President of the club.

            I see you every now and then. Sundays mostly, if I get the chance to come home. Senior year you tell me that you have known the whole time, and I tell you that I have known the whole time as well. You propose in May and three months later we get married. I win Katie’s bet.

            You continue pastoring, I find a publisher who loves my books, and they are on their way. I produce videos for The Current. We have five children, three boys and two girls. Jacob, Carter, Ezra, Mia, and Jana. We adopt two dogs, Brutus and Marlo, who are larger than yourself, and you train them to guard the stairs at night. I convince you to get a Pomsky, and we named him Rut. We don’t know or remember why. When our youngest, Jana, asks for a cat I look at you and raise my eyebrows. You give in again, how could you say no to that three year old? His name was Cup, Jana named him. We just called him Cepe for short.

            My books go into their second printing every time. I get asked for movie rights. I end up writing the script and putting it together. For the prequels, the kids are old enough to play some of the main characters.

            My father passes away from an overdose on pain medication. Unintentional.

            Your mother passes away, heart failure.

            The kids grow up at Dayspring with their father the young adult pastor, and me by your side. Jacob follows in his father’s footsteps, Carter becomes the Creative Writer and Ezra becomes a vet. Mia tries everything and loves everything, but she settles on the worship major at Cedarville, reminding me of Chloe, whom I have not seen in a week. I should call her. Jana decides to be a teacher, taking after her Aunt whom she was named after.

            They get married, Jacob and beautiful girl named Rachel.

            Carter and Michaela. Ezra and Amber. Mia and James. Jana and Logan.

            They have kids, so far twelve total. We are grandparents of twelve children. All of our kids, mine, Chloe’s, Sophia’s, Stephanie’s and Ellie’s children went on vacation together with their spouses while we watch the grandchildren at the lake.

            The night falls, and the kids are in bed. Sophia and Michael sit together on the sand looking out over the lake. Chloe and Connor sit together, hand in hand. You and I, together, as I watch the lights reflect off the water. Ellie and her husband, Andy, are together, holding hands as well. Stephanie and Anthony sit together, head on one shoulder.

            I furrow my eyebrows and look at the lake, remembering the last time we were all together out and out here. “It really was incredible, wasn’t it?”

            Everyone nods, and Sophia looks at me, “yes, it was.” She says as Brutus, Marlo, Rut, Indie, Percy, Swift and Jones, our dogs, are lying next to us and wagging their tails.

            “You know Lilly, the last time we were all here together, you almost died.” Chloe looks at me then laughs. I give her a confused look, and she looks at the fire, then back at the gasoline tank.

            She would bring up the time that we set the beach on fire, “right, because you almost killed me.” I laugh and so does everyone else, the women were already there and the spouses already knew the story.

I look at everyone's wide, and now wrinkled mouths. We may be old, with our skin wrinkled, and thin, not as strong as it used to be and the elasticity wearing off, but nothing has changed. That fire that burned in our eyes during the snowball fight is there as we laugh. The ambition that we had may have changed, but it is still there. Now instead of writing books, leading worship and owning dance studios, we want to see our grandchildren grow up. We still have the same stories, the same attitude and same friendship that we did when we all took that first blow from an airborne snowball.